Excerpt from Paul Farmer's "Pathologies of Power"

"By including social and economic rights in the struggle for human rights, we help to protect those most likely to suffer the insults of structural violence. [...] A preferential option for the poor, and all perspectives rooted in it, also offers a way out of the impasse in which many of us caregivers now find ourselves: selling our wares and services to those who can afford them, rather than making sure that they reach those who need them most. Allowing 'market forces' to sculpt the outlines of modern medicine will mean that these unwelcome trends will continue until we are forced to conclude that even the practice of medicine can constitute a human rights abuse."

Savouring this delightful Sunday afternoon with a heavy dose of melancholy. Why do things like softly rousing to the fluttering lashes of a lover, reaching for his inert body, and imbibing the possibilities of a warm spring morning make me feel so happy, full, sad, and empty all at once? Is it because this season, the feeling it conveys, the meaning it embodies, only serves to remind me of the regrettable transience of life? Events become memories faster than I have time to process them. I look at the eggs frying in the pan, thinking about how breakfast will soon amount to a pile of dirty dishes. The conversation we are having now over our black tea will soon be replaced by a quiet, shadowy room filled with my own thoughts. Perhaps even the love I am feeling will dissipate into something strange, unrecognizable, and unsettling.

So much melancholy for such a beautiful day.

10 basics, and 5 things that should never have been invented.

Inspired by Tracy's post, here are my 10 necessities of life.

1. Sunscreen. Never leave the house without it. Recently switched from my usual SPF 15 to Shishedo For Face SPF 36.

2. A good sports bra for working out. So in addition to having smooth, even, and wrinkle-free skin when I'm old, I will have a hot bod and perky breasts.

3. My Ralph Lauren PJ pants. Most comfortable pants ever. They are made of the most ridiculously soft material and the next best thing to sleeping naked. I've had these for 7+ years, and if only they still made them I would buy 3 more pairs. One reader of this blog may mock them as my "see-through pants", but you know what, you suck. Slash I love you.

4. Poshe Super Fast Drying Topcoat. This changed my life. Before I would do my nails three hours before going to bed and STILL wake up the next day with fabric marks. Now I can have shiny, dent-free, completely dry nails in 10 min that don't chip for up to a week.

5. Trader Joe's. I buy more organic, local, and healthy foods. Some weekly staples include handmade whole wheat tortillas, organically grown avocados, 98% fat free turkey or chicken chili, organic creamy tomato soup. And once that seasonal sipping chocolate comes back in the fall, I will definitely stock up on that. And favorite place to get wine.

6. Jeans. I don't think I could get along with someone who doesn't wear jeans on a regular basis. Right now I'm loving my distressed skinny ones from Express.

7. Clorox 2 Stain Fighter and Color Booster. Oh my God why haven't I discovered this earlier. It's like magic!

8. Lush Lemony Flutter cuticle butter. This stuff is amazing, especially if you have extremely thick, unruly cuticles like mine.

9. Contacts, obviously.

10. The public library. I don't know how spending as much time as I do on the T would be bearable if it weren't for BPL.

And 5 things that maybe need to go away.

1. American Apparel. Why in the hell would I want a skanky bathing suit with a hood, or a see-through thong bodysuit, or a dress that basically follows the architechture of a trash bag??

2. Fast food and dumb people. Wtf, NJ?

3. The iSanitaryNapkin, uh, Pad, pardon me.

4. Harem pants. Worse than leggings-as-pants, and I never thought that would actually be achievable.

5. Baseball. Red Sox opening day was yesterday. FML.

Comfort food

A terrific cure for the blues: curling up in bed with a warm bowl of turkey chili, while sheets of rain outside come down so hard it sounds like crinkling aluminum and the sky is gray like a dappled pony.

Overheard: bitter old people

"... and then I'll have to come back that way."
"Will you stop complaining."
"Oh hush, I will do what I want."
"I'll walk this way by myself and you walk your way. We'll just walk our own ways."
"No."
"Why not? I'll walk my way and you walk your way."
"You are so annoying. I hate you."
"What's wrong with you-"
"You are so annoying. Stop telling me what to do, I don't want to walk this way."
"I'm telling you, be careful or else you'll fall and die and then you'll get what you deserve."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"I'm going to walk over here and you walk over there."

Haiti

this is the kind of event, for which scale becomes meaningless, numbers become fatuous, suffering becomes unquantifiable, and where one is in complete awe of the ungraciousness, brevity, and capriciousness of life.

2010

Because I am craving the cathartic feeling lists give me, here's 2009 in review...

Joined a gym, worked with a personal trainer for 8 weeks, finally shed freshman 10.
Played kings for the first time.
Best Valentine's day ever
Weird "relationship".... eww.
Abstract on implementation of decision aids presented in Boston
Read lots of Nabokov, Chekhov
Family vacay to Hearst Castle, San Luis Obispo, San Francisco, memories of the endless drive on California One, the "whale" we stared at for 30 minutes before realizing it was a rock, Yosemite
Re-wrote personal statement 3 times
MOVED
Applied to medical school
Maine <3
Reunited with the love of my life
Family reunion
Duke visit
Hosted not one, not two, but three fantastic parties at the BOMB
Got bangs
3 trips to Charlottesville, VA
Health literacy abstract presented in Hollywood
Discovered awesome and cheap manicure place near work
Discovered awesome and cheap yoga classes
Sunday potlucks
Seeing Built to Spill twice
Career crises: rural medicine, primary care, research in health disparities, Masters in bioethics, neuroscience and decision making, PhD in decision sciences???
Thanksgiving in Maine and meeting Gus
Deciding the gender and names of my 3 future kids
Seeing old friends on new year's eve

And things I am looking forward to in 2010...

Birthday!
DC trip in April with Laura
Mayyyybe finally finishing that paper and getting published?
Perfecting my crepe-making skills
Life after MGH
THERESA JACQUIE CHINA SUMMER 2010